Running, or the lack of it...

It has been nearly 11 weeks since my last run. It was a glorious one and it left me in a lot of pain. I went to the e.r., was told I possibly had a stress fracture, and was sent home with an ace bandage and some pain pills. I called around to an orthopedic doctor and met with one at Northwestern in early October. She also suspected a stress fracture and sent me to get fitted for a walking cast/boot and ordered an mri. I had the mri and ten days later we confirmed the stress fracture in my fibula. I was ordered to wear the boot for 6-8 weeks, stay off my feet as much as possible and rest and ice and elevate whenever possible. Yeah sure. You try doing that with two small kids, a full time job, and a house to take care of.

I'm now out of the boot, walking everyday and I see the ortho on December 19th. I still have a little tenderness, but not pain. I hope that she will release me to start slowly working out again. Probably the elliptical and bike first, then short bouts of running. My fingers are crossed. I need to start half marathon training in January.

During this time of not being able to run, I have missed it enormously. I have craved it. I have had dreams about it. I have been both jealous and envious of my runner friends. I've been jealous and envious of complete strangers I've seen running along the streets. I've talked a lot less about running than I used to. Probably because I miss it so much.

So, early this week, I spent too much time looking at nailpolish and realized I was going to miss my train if I didn't hurry the eff up. I took off at a mad dash. Decked out in my North Face parka, winter boots, a backpack with my laptop and 20 pounds of other shit, and my bag of nailpolish. Those four short blocks of running was like heaven here on earth. I felt like I could run forever, even with my excess baggage. I still missed my train. And my leg was sore after I finally sat down. But, it didn't hurt. So, that's good news.

Doctors, Doctors, Doctors

So, here I am, nearly 70 pounds overweight...according to what the government says is a "healthy weight" for my height. I call it bullshit anyway. My BMI labels me obese. My pants are only a size 16. So sue me. My primary care doctor thinks I worry too much about it. She advised that I stop tracking and start eating a more plant-based diet. In other words, don't go vegan, but lean that way. That lifestyle doesn't work for me and I don't think that's the answer to my problem. She also suggested that maybe I'm stress eating or snacking too much at night. Okay, if you are tracking your calories and staying within your "budget", you should still be seeing a loss. Snacks or not. So, on to a new PCP I go.

I contacted Northwestern Memorial Hospital's Weight Loss Surgery Center and attended their free seminar on weight loss surgery. I filled out an 8 page application. Then I met with the nurse practitioner to go over basic details and family history. Family information being that no one in my family is fat but me. The next steps are meeting with the Nutritionist and then the Health Psychologist. Both of those appointments have been scheduled for mid-December and January.

The next step after that will be to attend a pre-op class and then meet with the surgeon. Followed up by three more pre-op classes and a final chart review with the surgeon. Then surgery will be scheduled.

I don't know if I will qualify for surgery. Right now the fact that my BMI is so high and that I have high blood pressure and high cholesterol puts me in the "likely candidate" category. I will be seeing my new PCP later this month to get on blood pressure medication.

I hope that after meeting with the new PCP and the Nutritionist, something might come to light and I won't need to or want to have surgery. But if surgery is the only answer, then I will have it.

I've met with an Endocrinologist who was certain that I had a hormonal problem. He said that the uneven disbursement of my fat (it's all in my belly) and my bad acne points at high cortisol levels. He runs two cortisol tests and a full panel of blood tests. Everything reports back as normal, including my thyroid functions.

So, too much excess weight, bad acne, severe mood swings, hair loss and insomnia are some of the symptoms I have and nobody knows why. They have no answers.

A friend recommended that I do a sleep study to test for sleep apnea, so I schedule that. I'm doing it next Tuesday night. I stay overnight at the hospital, get hooked up to a bunch of sensors and machines and get videotaped while I sleep. If I can sleep. Maybe that will turn up some answers.

Until then, I keep pondering what's wrong. I keep tracking what I eat and getting regular exercise 6 days out of 7.

Stay tuned. There are more ramblings to come.

Ramblings...

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, Melissa was a skinny girl. Sure, she had a bout with chubbiness before her height caught up with her width. But, after 7th grade, she was taller than all the boys and thinner than a lot of girls. She stayed that way all through high school. 125 pounds of lean muscle and long legs. After high school and upon entering the working world, Melissa rounded out to a healthy weight of 140. She worked out regularly, stayed active, had a social life. Moved out on her own, stayed active, still worked out. The scale never went over 145. All throughout her early 20's, Melissa was healthy and lean. She was one of the skinny friends. This continued until Melissa was about 25 and then the shit hit the fan. Melissa's metabolism died. The exact date is not known, but it definitely died. She started gaining weight unexpectedly, although not much had changed. By the time she became pregnant in January 2006, she was 40 pounds overweight. This trend get going and going and going and after her second pregnancy in 2009, she was still overweight. After several attempts at Weight Watchers and regular visits to the gym, not to mention the active life of being a mommy of two, the pounds would not come off. Now, Melissa is tipping the scales at almost 70 pounds overweight. Where the hell did it come from and how does she get rid of it? And how can she stop being the fat friend? We may never know.